YOUR EXCELLENCY, WHAT IS THE COST OF YOUR LATEST SWAG?
Dear Sir,
I
write you this letter as a concerned indigene of our beloved Rivers
State. I did not set out to write because like other eletronic
vuvuzelas, I desire to scout for cheap popularity. Trust me, my
intentions are quite noble. I may be unable to unlace your sandals, but I
am sure that I can draw your attention to those matters which merits
your commendation and condemnation, so that your appetite for princely
robes, real estates, automiles and bank-breaking acholic beverages can
be put in check.
Please
sir, don't be mad at me for revealing the golden nature of your taste.
It is not in doubt that you are a man with a grand appetite for
grandeur. that is not a secret at all. From your acquisition of choiced
properties during your reign as Chief of staff to your former boss now
turned enemy, to your accession to the laudable comforts of porsh
automobiles, you have displayed an affection for luxury worthy of
emulation by aspiring politicians who see you as a role model.
But my worry sir, is that you have decided not to put your taste for these automobiles in check. I recently heard that you acquired two bullet proof mobile offices reportedly worth three Hundred million naira (N300, 000, 000. 00).
But my worry sir, is that you have decided not to put your taste for these automobiles in check. I recently heard that you acquired two bullet proof mobile offices reportedly worth three Hundred million naira (N300, 000, 000. 00).
If my records serve me
right, you are the first governor to have purchased these luxury mobile
offices in Nigeria. I know that by this purchase, you have shot Rivers
State into the exclusive class of States in the world with a world class
throttling office good enough to feed several families and for which
great operational expenses would be incured. Bravo sir! Your swagger and
'prudence' are worthy of emulation.
What
defies wonder is that you chose to buy two (2) of these sexy automobiles
at a period of auterity and great economic strain when your government
has for the same reason, discontinued the Rivers State Oversea
Scholarship for want of funds. That you chose to purchase these offices
at a period when salaries are yet to be paid and when the dollar is
sky-high for want of local investment is a testimonial of your
'frugality and great economic marks-manship. You are indeed a modern
wonder!
Please sir, permit me to ask you
just one or two questions. What is the cost of this your recent swag? I
hope the amount will not be eshrouded in mystery? I hope it will not
suffer the Same fate as the 2016 Appropriation Bill which has remained a
privately classified document?
Let me
congratulate you once again for inflicting your kingly taste on the good
people of Rivers State. You have proven yourself a good son worthy of
emulation and have broken every record of economic frugality in an era
of austerity.
Please accept my warmest regards!
Yours Sincerely,
Aholu Charles C.
Cc: Wailing Waillers
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