In the search for the right one, your anxiousness may lead you to read false or mixed signals. Most people in serious relationships have one aim –
marriage, but how do you know you have met the right one? even if you
get married, how would you know it would be “till death do us part”.
In the search for the right one, your anxiousness may
lead you to read false or mixed signals and you’ll end up making all
the wrong moves. People have different personality types, hence no two
dating patterns are the same.
For those still looking for the right life partner, Shantell E. Jamison of Ebony lists the 5 personalities you get to meet before landing the right one (This list doesn’t apply to everyone):
1. The Crazy One: If you’re still
single and have yet to date the crazy type, get ready. They’re too good
to be true because, well, it’s a lie. You mistake their fits of rage
after finding a text from an associate as “caring.” At first, you’ll
perceive their behavior as “a symptom of being in love” instead of the
red flag that he/she is controlling and possibly covering up their own
tracks. Everyone has allowed their emotions to get the best of them at
some point, but this person always does. You’ll find them staked out in
front of your crib at three a.m. because you didn’t reply to their text
messages right away. This is one of the few personality types that most
won’t deal with for long. Insecure people like this will drive any sane
person away fast, but these types usually prey on those with low
self-esteem. Their insanity often turns into physical and mental abuse, a
tool they use to manipulate and keep you at bay. Hopefully, you’ll be
gone before I finish this sentence.
2. The Best Friend: You’ve been
friends for quite some time, but are just now noticing that you’re
attracted to each other. You know each other: from their favorite foods
to that time he slept with his college roommate’s girlfriend. The
friendship is too sacred for the relationship not to work, so you go for
it. So what your friend cheated on everyone he/she has every dated?!
With you it will be different. But it isn’t. The best-friend breakup is
particularly bad because you least expect it. This is someone who knows
what you’ve been through and has been that shoulder to lean on during
tough times. Now they’re the one causing you harm and you have no
shoulder to lean on. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve seen a couple of
successful relationships rooted in friendship. But some friends hook up
out of desperation and convenience, so don’t take it personal if it
doesn’t work out.
3. The Wild Card: With the wild
card, you never know what you’re going to get. You’re intrigued by the
“danger of it all.” You stick with them for the excitement, and the
false belief that you can tame this wild and free soul. Most wild cards
have commitment and stability issues, but we see their problems as
“living on the edge” or “going with the flow.” Never mind the
clusterf*ck of an emotional roller coaster they put you through. These
individuals have a stream of short-term relationships that all end due
to the “other person’s issues.” The wild card never takes responsibility
for their own actions and will constantly try to manipulate you with
passive-aggressive behavior when you call them out on their bull. Trust,
this isn’t a ride at the amusement park that you’ll want to wait in
line for.
4. The One You Think You Can Save: This
is by far the most emotionally draining personality type that you can
involve yourself with. The relationship starts off sweet, with your mate
showing you signs of a normal person who is warm and interesting. Give
it about six weeks. They will have you in tears because you can see “the
potential” of how good you can be together, but the reality is anything
but. Despite what is being presented, you won’t have sense enough to
leave right away because they “need” you. You believe that you can
change them and most likely have a strong desire to be needed. These
relationships are particularly damaging because “the victim” is very
good at playing the role. For most of the union, they’ll have you
wondering what you did wrong (which is nothing), and holding on a bit
too long to an already doomed relationship.
5. The Stepping Stone: The stepping
stone is always looking for something better. They have no problem using
people to fill the void left from an unsuccessful relationship or until
the “right one” comes along. They ignore the fact that they’re trading
in people as if they are shopping for a car. Unfortunately, you’ll buy
into their affections, not knowing that they’re looking for the next
best thing. They are the epitome of selfish and can truly damage your
self-esteem. No one is perfect, and many of us have behaved in ways
similar to the personality traits described. The difference is that some
allow their emotions to get the best of them on occasion, while others
dwell in destruction. The point of this list isn’t to tell you that
you’ve made horrible choices when dating. It’s meant to encourage you to
not give up, to realize that you’ve got to go through some relationship
fails to find your mate. Often, we can block love from finding us
because we’re looking too hard for it. Love is something that you just
cannot force, because your spirit is what will attract your mate to you.
I’ve dated all of the personality types above (and then some), and it
hasn’t deterred me. So don’t allow the “nos” to keep you from your
“yes,” “amen” and “then some”!
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