The friends with benefit
relationship is one that is often met with caution and even fear. While
some people are comfortable with the idea, others believe it isn’t even
possible to maintain such relationships. If you find yourself trapped
somewhere between the friend-zone and being a couple, here are some
rules to follow.
1. No cuddling after sex
Cuddling
has been scientifically proven to induce the hormone oxytocin. This
hormone is also known as the ‘love’ hormone or the ‘bonding’ hormone. It
is also secreted by pregnant women to facilitate bonding with the
unborn baby. If you do not plan to invest feelings in a relationship, DO
NOT cuddle.
2. No extended texting
The
human mind is a very complex entity because it is prone to imagination.
The more we communicate with people, the more likely we are to assume
things that might not necessarily be the case. For example, we might
assume someone likes us more than they do because they will stay up at
night and chat to us.
3. No interrogatory questions
Where
have you been? Who were you with? You know these questions. In a
friends with benefits situation both parties need to stay in their lane
and respect each other’s privacy and right to be with other people. It
is after all the difference between friends with benefits and a dating
relationship.
4. Limited physical contact
This
is similar to the limiting of texting, but it has to do with physical
contact. When we are in people’s company excessively, it is easy to
develop emotional attachment and even dependency. This emotional
responsibility being the reason we choose to be friends with benefit in
the first place ultimately leads to problems when it creeps up.
5. No snooping around (especially online)
No no no, worst thing
you can ever do is develop paranoia over someone you aren’t even
dating. It is bad enough when in a relationship, but at least you have
some right to be paranoid, at least to a degree. Respect for the other
person’s privacy is paramount. Looking at who they are liking or
commenting on online is a recipe for disaster.
P.S The Federal Ministry of Relationships warn that friends with benefits are likely to go wrong.
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